The X Fact(her): I Got a Gangsta Green Thumb

I haven’t been food shopping in over a month.

I should grow my own food, but don’t. Jay-z said “dig a hole” and maybe I should. Fill it with some seeds, sprinkle with water and some TLC. I’ll be feasting on next season’s dinner in no time.

Seriously, I would love to eat fresh, organic produce every day. A while back I came across this documentary about eight UK adults picked to live in the monkey section of a zoo and eat the exact same diet as monkeys—all fresh and raw fruits and vegetables. One man never saw cauliflower before. In the end they all lost weight, felt better, had improved some of their medical conditions and vowed to each healthier. There is even an American documentary out about the same sort of thing.

Don’t know about you, but I’m not trying to live in a cage in order to eat right nor am I willing to go broke buying overpriced organic produce. This leaves me with another option: urban farming. As part of 99problems.org, I’m always looking for solutions to problems facing the urban community. Perhaps bringing farming to the hood will end the on-going battle for quality supermarkets and fresh produce in poor communities as well as educating people about the power of Mother Earth.

Living in the big city means more concrete than grass. Where would I plant my seeds? Martha Stewart broke down how to create your own compos heap but I’m not trying to be labeled the funky neighbor hording banana peels and potato skins in a box.

During my weekly radio show, the topic of eating healthy was raised. This got me to wondering: At what point in society did we transition from farming our own foods to living off of processed foods, McDonald’s and High Fructose Corn Syrup?

You’d have an easier time finding bin Laden than you would a boxed/canned or bottled food that didn’t have high fructose corn syrup in its list of ingredients. Fun Fact: the higher up in the list of ingredients something is on the label, the more that product contains it. (i.e. If you pick up a bottle of apple juice and apple juice is the last thing on the list, put it down! Buy a bag of apples and juice them yourself.)

Perhaps farming in the hood would catch on if it was marketed right. Folks would house their mini-gardens on their window sills. Dudes on the block would start selling 100% Columbian dirt. When a fella asks if you’ve seen his hoe, he really means a hoe. Seed packages would be sold in corner stores and 7 Elevens and endorsed by Hip Hop celebs with great taglines:

Jay-Z Apple Seeds: One Jay-Z apple a day keeps the hate away

Lil Wayne Zucchini: It goes with everything, and makes bread too!

Beyoncé Butternut Squash: So pretty, so yellow, so smooth

Notorious B.I.G. Eggplant: Black and ugly as ever…however good for you.

I’ll rope up the ox and you grab the seeds

- CH

For the last seven years, Chloé A. Hilliard has been a culture/entertainment journalist, writing for the Village Voice, Essence, Vibe, King, and The Source. In addition to writing The X Fact(her), a hip hoppers humorous look at politics, she co-hosts I’m Sayin’ Radio, a weekly talk show, and aspires to be a vegan. Learn more about her on chloehilliard.com.

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Chloe