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Peak Oil…hey, got a light?

November 13, 2009 Front Page No Comments

empty-oilThis is a few days old i.e. another epoch in internetz time but I bet when society crashes and we burn our laptops for plastic scented warmth, we’ll kill for the chance to facebook-like one more snarky blog post, to tag one more pic of the person we were before Nature takes our headphones off and smacks us back to the Ice Age.

By which I mean, is anyone really surprised that not only do we have to confront the awesome, shame-on-us specter of global destruction as a simple truth – we are consuming the world, will we do anything about it? – but also as a classic opportunity for government conspiracy, what we don’t know will kill us, of course the Man is savvy to the fact that famine and hedonism are mutually exclusive and you’ll catch more of us flies if you act like the honey is gonna flowwwww forever.

Turns out “[t]he world is much closer to running out of oil than official estimates admit,” with the United States quite specifically called out for encouraging a false representation of 1.) how much oil is undiscovered [how do they know?!] and 2.) how much we’ve got left in our fields.

Consensus is growing that this roller coaster we call Life™ is already over the hump, we’re hurtling down hill to a NEW epoch the people at the Center for Egregiously Named Memetics call Peak Oil. When you hit Peak Oil, your oil production enters a phase called “terminal decline….” yeah, it looks kinda like this:

mad_max1

Now, I for one am sure the proud business and government leaders of the United States didn’t want to lie about the world’s oil reserves, no, that’s illogical! I’m sure it was a minor lie, really just a fib, that snowballed into a conspiracy, it was out of their hands – really – and now that the truth is out, wow, we can get right down to those “New Energy Solutions” that sound just so neat.

I don’t know about yall, but I say let’s burn it while we got it. It’s a cold Friday in Brooklyn, the leaves are off the trees…you know what would cheer me up?

Gas Fight

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