Breaking News: Clarence Thomas May Be A Lesbian!

Let’s look at the facts. Clarence Thomas is not married. He’s pretty stout. Look at that haircut. He went to college in Massachusetts, which we all know is a hotbed of lesbianism. And no one has ever issued an official statement that he isn’t a lesbian.

All of this is to say, I don’t give a rat’s ass whether Elena Kagan is a lesbian or not, and I think it’s pretty weird that it’s not just conservatives who are obsessing over the question. People are relying on a pile of rumors and stereotypes that don’t apply any better to Elena Kagan than they do to Clarence Thomas. And even if she is a lesbian, Obama’s clearly not making any bold statement about gay rights by appointing her, as the administration is denying it.

So let’s all get over it and talk about her actual qualifications. Not only is the lesbian question a stupid distraction from the real questions at hand, but it’s forcing all of us to think about Supreme Court Justices naked, and that’s some pretty dangerous territory.

Posted by:

Rachel Bishop